You deserve to be sprinkled with embers on your face for eternity if you do this
1. Do the finger pull motion to get a server to come to you.
2. Come in 15 minutes or less before the kitchen closes.
3. Shake your glass of ice at your server when needing a refill.
4. Say “You can bring me ..” i.e. a new glass. I know what I can do, if you want something you can ask in a nice manner.
5. Ask a server that looks busy other than yours to bring you things. Chances are they’re busy with tables of their own. If they’re standing around hanging out, go for it.
6. Repeatedly ask for certain things each time a server comes back. Say what all you need at once ahead of time. Saves you and your server time.
7. Go to a restaurant you can’t really afford, and can’t tip.
8. Tip less than 15%. Unless your server was god awful.
9. Eat half your plate and then complain about it.
10. Modify the shit out of your order. Allergies, I get. But if it’s a whole new spanking dish, fucking stay at home.
11. Asking for a dish that is a totally different type of cuisine, knowing full well we would not have that shit. And being annoyed we don’t have it.
12. Completely ignore the waiter when they ask the table a question.
13. Make a mistake ordering, then blame the server for the wrong dish.
14. Act like you are really close with the owner/manager when they don’t really know you.
15. Come in the restaurant in a fowl mood.
Feel free to add more!